The Year 2000
It is now the year 2022, but all I can think about is how I miss the year 2000. All I did was listen to Destiny’s Child, Aaron Carter and the screaming cries of my baby sister. I wrote love notes to a boy in my grade and slipped them into his classroom mailbox every day, hoping he would realize they were from me. Crying at the door of my second grade classroom while my nose bled. Ah, those were the days. Here’s a few more things I miss…
PASSWORD JOURNAL
There was nothing more enticing than yelling, “ IT’S MEGAN” at my journal 20 times before giving up and hitting the password reset button. I definitely had a safe place to practice writing my married name after I would eventually get engaged to Lance Bass.
“DON’T HAVE A COW”
A phrase I cherished but wouldn’t utter past 2002. I want to thank Bart Simpson for this one. I was obsessed with The Simpsons for an incredibly long time, and this phrase was banned from my house because I said it too much and my mom and her husband at the time HATED it. It’s probably where my love of Butterfingers came from! Cowabunga, dude.
TECH DECKS
These things helped me talk to another one of the boys I liked in my grade, so I wanted to give it a special shout out. Yeah, I’m talking to you! The weird finger skateboards from the quarter machine inside of the local China Buffet. No matter how many times I did 180’s at school it didn’t bring Jamie closer to my heart, but it did bring him closer to my desk as he asked to borrow you every day at recess.
THE DREW CAREY SHOW
The Drew Carey show was one of the best things the sitcom world had ever seen in the 90’s/early 2000’s. I LOVED this show, just as much as Friends and a lot more than Frasier. Mimi was an icon because I loved women who were outspoken, ‘bossy’ and wanted to do things their way. She was also the first drag queen I had seen! So naturally I asked for Drew Carey and Mimi dolls as a gift and they still live in my dad’s basement.
SO MANY MOVIES
So many movies were released in 2000 that changed Hollywood. We’ve got How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Gladiator, American Psycho, Cast Away, Scary Movie, Bring It On, Erin Brockovich, Miss Congeniality, Final Destination , and so many more. Why does it feel like these movies came out yesterday? Time, SLOW DOWN! U-G-L-Y you ain’t got no alibi!
HIT CLIPS
Before there was the iPod or the mp3 player, there were hit clips. This tiny key-chain allowed you to insert an even tinier square ‘disk’ that would play one minute of one of your favorite pop songs. All the coolest children had their hit clips on the playground while the chorus to Britney Spears’ Oops I Did it Again played over and over. That reminds me, I know Ashley H. stole my hit clips. I don’t forgive OR forget, Ashley H.
Y2K
My neighbors were one of the families that stockpiled canned goods in their basement for the new year. They made their basement into a panic room because they convinced themselves that Jesus was coming back since the world was obviously ending. Imagine that instead of God being met with a chubby 6 year old on New Year’s Day who was just there to play in your treehouse and flirt with your son. “Do you guys have any fudge pops?”
